That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
