giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
