k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
