This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
