dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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