i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
