does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Everything about him screamed your future.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
