Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
