He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
