I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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