Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Ketchup is God's man juice
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
