North Korea, Best Korea!
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
