I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
