If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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