I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
