sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
