I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
