Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
