Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
