On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
