Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
