So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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