what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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