I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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