I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
