the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Randomize
