It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
