If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
