Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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