I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
