Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
