It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
