ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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