After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
