He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
