I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
