the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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