the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
