did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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