he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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