I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
