She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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