Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
