went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
