everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
