AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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