Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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