I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
