I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
