Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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