Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
