ugly people sure do ruin things
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
