Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
