I love black thongs
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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